Hey there, man-guy-person, what have you been up to recently? I have been too busily enthralled by a handful (plus one!) of incredibly cute beings to care, but recently I was gifted with that travesty known as Dark Souls, so I should have plenty of time to listen to your oh so valid reasons for complaining. But first, I need to get something off my own chest; having played my newly-acquired toy for a grand total of four hours, I have learned some things that you all may appreciate. First and foremost, poison sucks. I hate poison. Those motherfucking rats that poison you? I hate them just as much, because all it takes is a failed evade and you are poisoned. Being poisoned is like... well, it pretty much means you will die. Also, I really, really, really cannot stand poison. Oh, did I mention how much I hate poison? Yes? Yeah, well.... I pretty much cannot stand it. Wait, did I say spice? Wherever did that come from?
Gah! Confound this poison. It drives me to Site Update!
New Suede ShoesThat title is supposed to be blue? Meh, not my concern. I am certain that you all understand. Besides, the word new makes far more sense, considering this is the promotion section. Would you not agree? No? Well, I don't care, nobody likes you. Not even your mother. She said so!
Ehem. Well. This is embarassing. The situation calls for drastic measures... Non Sequitur, engage!
I want to start out what will undoubtedly be a massive waste of spice with a quick nod to Confused Flamingo, Spawn of Saltine, and RedNeck, three very dedicated members who recently retired from their services. Flamingo was a longtime tester, and a friend to many before he... well, stopped; Spawn of Saltine and RedNeck, however, were mini-staff, guardians if you will, who recently decided to hand in the towel. Their days of moderating the map database may be over (for now! *cue dramatic music*), but our memory of their won't be fading any time soon. All three of these people were great guys, and if you see them again, ask them how large the unemployment check is. Tell 'em that I wanted to know.
We had a little switchidoodle within the staff hierarchy; A new journo, yours truly, who has been around far longer than he cares to admit, apparently made a diagonal rank move. Or something. Whatever I did, however, Black Theorem countered. Yeah, he is the new Community Manager (we will never know what that rank is for!), which I will explain in great detail later (oh... nevermind >_>). Last of the staff shakeup was your friendly neighborhood... friendly neighborhood... uh... Oh! Right, thesilencebroken, totally forget his alias for a moment there! Silly me, won't happen again.
Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for, and by 'you all' I mean 'Zatherla', we have a new Artisan joining the ranks of the pub; Zatherla! Though he may not actually be in the pub right now, he is in spirit, so I think you should all go congratulate him right this moment. In spirit, that is!
Shock Theta is Baller, Sexes SiteYou that read right. The previous sentence, however, you read wrong! Don't you all love how your mind plays tricks on you? Well, Shock Theta apparently doesn't, because he is a baller and doesn't afraid of anything. Do you know what he does that makes him so baller? He balls. That is right ladies and gents. He has been updating the poop outta the site recently, making all sorts of changes. My personal favorite? The new buttons everywhere that glow when you hover your mouse over them. For a more updated list of the shenanigans, check it strait from him to you;
Lots of minor changes around the forum:
You can now view which threads you're subscribed to from the thread listing (shown by an icon), as well as subscribing and unsubscribing directly from the thread.
Clicking the Reply button at the bottom of an individual post will take you to the quick reply area at the bottom of the page as normal, but now automatically include the post as a quote when you submit the reply. You can toggle the quote off using the checkbox underneath the quick reply area.
Clicking your avatar (in the userbox at the top of the screen) takes you directly to the edit avatar section of the user control panel.
Search Options at the bottom of forum areas are now semantically laid out.
Aesthetic goodness being added regularly to make it easier and clearer to user the site.
Aesthetic goodness :3
Obligatory Music Paragraph
That Accomplishes Nothing Beyond My Entertainment, and Possibly, Yours As WellUh... the title is a work in progress. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you that there is this old band, and some old songs that have recently grabbed my pretty with the teeth. Thought I'd share my current playlist, and you could share yours too, and we could all get a few new songs out of the deal. 1st on the agenda; Nine Inch Nails is my current obsession. With Teeth is an underrated song, The Closer is always good, The Hand That Feeds is always arguably better but not confirmed, and every mention of pigs tickles me.
"I wanna feel you from the inside!"
Of course, I can always use a good bit of Dream Theater as a pick-me-up when I get musically starved. In the Presence of Enemies, parts 1 & 2 (especially when spliced into one uber-mega-song) are the two best things ever. Dream Theater has other good songs, but none that literally tell an epic tale. Like, ancient Greek style. I am also qui-
Know what? Screw this; obligatory Testers Guild and Customs Lobby pasta (courtesy of Noxiw and a lazy Yoyo), gogogo! If you want to earn the shiny blueness, check out the descriptions of the two active wings of our guild, and see if either path to loyal is worth the effort. Or, even better, worth the fun! Oh, and before I go on... I apologize for the pasta. It hurts me more than it hurts you, which luckily I am fine with due to masochistic tendencies. Masochistic tendencies? The doctor said I had those. Doctor who? Exactly, Doctor Who. No, I mean doctor who? Yes.
Uh, right.
This stuff is required, I swear.
[l-col]But what do they do? You're so predictable, interested Forge Hub member! The Tester's Guild does just what you may think the title is suggestive of: they help test unfinished maps. They'll nit-pick about things they disliked, sure, but they also provide excellent feedback about what you should consider to modify within your current build. They also detail the things you've employed which are running well.[/l-col][r-col]The Custom's Lobby is where gamers sit down for a night of fun and entertainment. This could be a night of Halo customs (which it most commonly is), but in the past it has ranged from gaming sessions of Modern Warfare 3, to Forza 3. If you wish to obtain your rank this way, take note that you are required to give feedback about your lobby for our front paged article. In fact, this is a portion of work required to obtain your pretty blue rank.[/r-col]
TGIF hosts, please PM Pegasi with the template below filled out in order to get your lobby on the sign up page!
HOST'S PARTY NAME
Host's Gamertag: HOST'S GAMERTAG
Start Time: 0:00pm EST
End Time: 0:00pm EST
Rules:-PARTY RULESSchedule:-PARTY SCHEDULE
What the Hay Does He Even Do?
Wait, why is Shock the
Sexy's avatar even here?'He' being, of course, our esteemed Community Manager, Black Theorem (the artist formerly known as.) Better known for his moonwalk, Theorem enjoys long walks on the beach and the fervor of Linsanity. But, who doesn't? What he does with his job, however, seems to perplex everybody. I mean, has nobody here ever worked at a job, ever? The Community Manager is essentially the Public Representative. He represents our interests in the public eye, so that we look smart and such. I would know, seeing as I used to be one before a horrible schemlting accident (*cue Goldmember*). And just to be clear, people will start to disappear if I have to keep answering this question.
Sigh, I now expect at least ten notifications tomorrow, nine of which are related to this, and one of which is related to that penis enlarger that is DEFINITELY not mine. Whatever, lets move on. The Community Manager does exactly what somebody would expect from him/her; maintains contact around the different halo communities, manages affiliations, and offers his advice as to what can make the site better. It involves lots of alcohol and repressed childhood memories as well, but those are industry secrets, so I shouldn't really let on too much. I apologize!
Arrakis, anyone?The last query was about energy drinks, and not having written that one, I would like to exercise the rare opportunity to abuse my power without any immediate consequences; the winner is my own brilliant turn of phrase!
I do like to partake in the hardcoredness that is caffeine. I just get such a huge rush from it! Personally, I need to dull any more than 1mg with some of the more mellow stuff like heroin. Occasionally I'll mix in some methamphetamines to add spice in the morning if I decide that the caffeine is too strong; or, if I'm feeling really gutsy, I'll go the opposite and try 2mg of caffeine with my heroin, though I try to save that for rare occasions such as swimming in shark-waters with open wounds and skiing through volcanic wastelands naked.
Wonderfully composed, was it not? Wait, you can't see the underlying rhythm, the inherent beauty, and the exquisite nature of the paradigm? You think I used that last word improperly? Well, I never! Off with you, scoundrel! Your brutish ways are no match for my sophisticated speech patterns! Verily, even Twilight Sparkle concurs:
I always had a thing for smart girls...
That brings an interesting question to mind, in fact. How about this weeks question is about CARTOONS? As much as I would love to ask something relevant and intelligent, such as "who is best pony," I am afraid that it may cause concern among certain individuals. So instead, I'll merely ask "who is best cartoon." That's correct, wonder me with your creepy knowledge of childhood cartoons. Of course, adult iterations such as the Simpsons and Family Guy are acceptable, but we frown upon blatant, stupid satire. So the latter of the two may be in poor taste. It matters not, for I very much expect a slathering of Spongebob, Avatar, Ren & Stimpy, and best of all, My Little Pony, to sweep those shows off the board.
Now away with you, and leave your best cartoons behind!
For Those of You At Home, 42 References Again!Well, that is, after I leave you with a random song. Keeping with my dune theme, it will be an Iron Maiden tribute to the book!
TO TAME A LAND - IRON MAIDEN with lyrics - YouTube
Before I leave, I have one last question (yeah, yeah, deal with it); Do you like bananas?
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