Is your reality shattered yet? It’s about to be; we have a moderator doing the most amazing article of the bi-weekly schedule. And since it is not my job, and quality (or make-sense-ability, whichever you prefer) is no longer required in keeping my position… This will be interesting for all of you. Consider it my parting gift. Oh but before I begin; take none of this at face value. I will probably be stretching most of it, possibly even including outright fabrications. It’s all in the name of love! But before we begin, Bloo Jay wanted me to send this following message to you. As editor, writer, and reader, I have done the necessary changes to allow it a position on the front page.
"SUBSCRIBE TO BLOO AND GAIN +30000 REP"
Useless Clarification
First things first; I want to clarify the difference between the Journalistic and Moderator duties. Journalists have the obvious task of writing for the front page, yes, but they have quite a few side duties you may have not been aware of. Along with the obvious, they are required to decide which maps get featured and when, they must take the brunt of organizing major events (2v2 Chinese Democracy, anyone?) and everything related to that… namely the insane amount of threads and discussion that goes on. They also (with the lack of anybody who is ordained with the primary job is to fulfill this next task) are the ones going out of their way to get sponsorships and such to help make our site awesome. AND they are to do moderating in the absence of an actual moderator. To be fair, this is more of the “Journalists and Black Theorem” workload, but BT is a try-hard so he is irrelevant.
What do moderators do, you ask? We have a small quota of 100 moderation actions per month, no real punishment if we don’t quite make it, very little accountability for our actions, the ability to detach for weeks at a time and not get demoted… Oh yeah, and did I mention that for the longest time as a Journalist, I was already completing the quota? That’s how easy it is. It is almost like vacation! To be fair, this is comparing what I did as a Journolating God to what guy nobody has ever heard of, Nibbles, does. And yes, I did just freaking create a word to describe myself. It also applies to try-hards like BT, except he moderates which is a real word. Oh and most of this is incredibly exaggerated, I may have let that part slip as well.
Promotions
Some guys got promoted, it’s no big deal. I became a moderator – seriously, I am blue, and have been for half a month; stop spamming me ‘congrats on the promotion’ – one or two other guys may have had things happen to them as well, but nobody told me and I have been largely absent since I resigned from having to do real work (notice how I continue to do my old job anyway…) So I thought I would take advantage of the promotions section to talk about the features. My line of reasoning; if you can become colored via the features, and it is some poor souls job to report those promotions here, I can talk about them here. Basically, for a map to get featured, a staff dude finds a cool map (either from suggestions in the hub pub, the feature suggestion thread, or magnets) and suggests it. Then I complain that it has many issues with flow, Whats a Scope posts some videos about weed, and it gets featured.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that a great friend of mine who I rarely ever talk to and is actually really only an acquaintance, one Landil Ladnil Lnalid or however his name is spelled, is our newest Artisan. He is pleased that all it takes to brighten someone’s day is recognizing that they exist, and promises to use his magic powers only for the benefit of mankind. I think he just wants nachos. The other honorable mention is the resignation of the great Guardian RedNeck. He had to return to his job catching road kill to feed his family, and will summarily be no longer able to moderate the forums. Thank him for all his hard work, and tell him that he rocks mightily. Oh yeah and Rorak Kuroda got promoted to replace him... but only through a veil of corruption.
I apologize for not having bolded, colored, linked, sweat-drenched names for you, but it truly is because I do not love you enough.
Review Hub
RH FTW! WOOOOOO!
Once upon a time, when Insane54 and Shad0w Viper were still administrators, chrstphrbrnnn and LIGHTSOUT constantly fought, and I had yet to be a member of staff, the Review Hub was the new, unconquered territory. People like Whats A Scope wrote reviews for me to edit, Bloo Jay did video ratings, and there was little structure for anyone. It was a very cool place but was very srs inside; we were lackadaisical publically, but super strict in the private Review Hub board. I got my first and only infraction in there, a fact which will baffle anybody who has seen the thread as of late, but that’s not important. What really matters is that they have reversed it. They pee in your cheerios with the super-strict writing style enforced by kung-fu master Organite, then have a central discussion thread that rivals the PPC in spam posts per day. I don’t quite understand how they do it, but it works great for them.
Oh yeah, that’s right; the Review Hub is a great place to be if you want to find someone to test your map to the bone. While I have heard they do give a slight preference to maps that work, if you think yours is a Grade A job, you should be fine. Running around with their scale of 1-10, 5 average, shootin’ like a cowboy cowboy… under the moon, they review the PISS outta your map. And if you want to go fight for freedom in the Wild, Wild West; join the damn review hub here. Or here. Or there, or there, or even join then way the hell over there if you feel so inclined.
Oh yeah, and Organite wanted me to discreetly mention some possible changes in the ways reviews are written up. So there you go. Also, here are the reviews from this cycle!
Pandora Dawn : 6.6/10 : JFox
Analogue : 7.7 - Organite & RAWR2010
Drop Zone : 4.9 - Zenixlio
Ouroboros : 7.1 - Oli The G
Databound: Halo : 3.2 - Tedium & Zenixlio
But seriously, I’m thirteen and ALMOST have a girlfriend…
Long ago, in a time far removed from your memory, there was an age restriction to join the Tester’s Guild. Not really sure why (considering I have met some freaking brilliant 10 year olds,) but you should blame Transactionzero because it’s always his fault. Whats a Scope was also in the Testers Guild at a time, you could always hate him as well. Anyway, these guys have somebody named Longshot redoing their images (effing again.) I am not sure if he will have it done by the time you read this, but if he does, look at the new image he made over next to this text… if not, yuck fu! But seriously, you people need to go over and give him some serious thanks. I got a look at these images early via contraband PMs, and they are seriously smexy. Oh by the way, the Testers here only wish for you to submit a map to them, so that they may test it. Because they are testers and they te- OH THAT THING LOOKS SO CUTE AND SQUISHY! I shall call it squishy and it shall be mine. And it shall be my squishy.
This second paragraph is a tribute to the Tester’s Guild and those annoying third person chats that are only funny once. This sentence elaborates on that primary point with information about how you can visit the Tester’s Guild Forum should you want to either get your map tested or apply to become one of the incredibly helpful guys doing the testing. This third sentence appreciates the irony of using third person, self-aware sentences to mock the selfsame sentences. This is a sentence that references some private staff fights from ages ago when irony was used as the only arguing point, much to the dismay of everyone involved. This sentence apologizes for any pain that was caused from reading it, and notes that not enough pop-culture references have been tucked into the Site Update yet. The concluding sentence mentions the up-coming terrible music montage!
This is a shout-out to Spawn of Saltine for being a badass leader. He sent me this, and I had my way with it before pasting it in. Like a real man who eats beef jerky for three meals a day and washes it down with orphan tears and vegan blood. My muscles are so hard thanks to all the beef jerky that I had to get my last tattoo with a chisel.
"I'd like to speak for the Testers Guild when I say thank you to iTz Longshot for giving our template images a little makeover. Stevo was coming home "ham n warted" every night and made the guild kind of dirty. So having someone to clean up a little mess is always appreciated.
A high five is in order to Erupt and Psychoduck for humiliating me last night. They convinced me that I somehow banned Erupt from the chatbox. I fell for their devious trick. o/ \o (INterCEPTION)
This wouldn't be a proper shout out if I didn't mention ThrowinDem'Bows' for finding camo-rock. Without his observational skills my Friday night wouldn't have been as entertaining.
Finally, a 'Thank God you were there" has to be announced to Tran'shuman' Plus for saving the day last night. Transaction Zero Friends, our beloved administrator, had posted in the wrong forum and revealed some information to the public. Shuman responded to the chaotic screaming (and trolling) by swiftly moving the thread away from the announcements forum."
“Click on Transaction Zero Friends’ name for teh lulz”
“I have a tiny penis.”
EDIT: I learned that they are keeping their old (lame) logo for the time being. So everything about new images is void. Thanks for reading it, now forget it!
TGIFUDGE
The TGIF is the community “butt-ton-o-fun” machine; every other Friday we have a group of dedicated members host a party to promote community maps, test stuff, lol around in matchmaking, and just hang out together. So you could say, the Girls Just Wanna Have Fun on Friday by Partyin' in the USA. In fact, they will Never Say Never should you ask Stacey to join (Thats Not My Name,) so say Bye Bye Bye to your forever alone nights. This is another terrible song reference that will make you cringe. In other news, Rick Roll (scroll down) your way into the Customs Lobby Loyal any day by hosting a lobby with epic shenanigans; write about at least three games in Halo Reach Glass-like detail, provide images of the games, link to the maps played, then repeat four times to gain access to the core of gunslingers under the command of one pinohkio. If you want more detail, you can message Whats A Scope. If you are interested in hosting, you can also message Scopemunk, you just need to use this super-amazing-party-party-fun-time copypasta template included below (may or may not include super-amazing-party-party-fun-time, use at your discretion.)
[HOST'S PARTY NAME]
Host's Gamertag: [HOST'S GAMERTAG]
Start Time: [0:00pm EST]
End Time: [0:00pm EST]
Rules: [PARTY RULES]
Schedule:
[PARTY SCHEDULE]
Host four consecutive TGIFs (that's back to back for a grand total of four TGIFs spanning eight weeks)
Continue a party spans a minimum of two hours
Submit a recap of their TGIF which consists of:
A two paragraph write up
A minimum of two pictures from their TGIF
At least three download links of the maps they've played
A Poem Twas Found…
Figure it out, Troll Hub. As we like something else together summarily long but as if we need then go for behind and ask the yellow walk to something as or it some may be long. In other words, read the first letter of each line. *NOTE* I do not condone this, nor do I support its message in any manner, nor did I write it myself. I am just hungry.
Me and you, we are like peas in a pod
Absolutely everything about us is perfect
Karma at its worst won’t tear us apart
Even hell cannot separate us
Mindless games of love and sorrow
Even they cannot tear a rift between us
Altruistic angels are all that is, they are us
Someday we will go farther than ever before
And take humanity to the next level
Nobody can ever stop the pure emotion we have
Destroying all that oppose us in grace
Will anyone ever cause use pain
In such a way that it affects us?
Clearly we are forever together, inseparable
Heavens fury itself cannot break us
Oh crap, I just realized that this section was supposed to be for promoting the 2v2 tournament. Now I have to write a bunch of things about it and whine about how nobody is doing work, then explain how its not as late as you think and that every map is done and I can tell you for a fact that the best map will be last and run on sentences are cool and the tournament will start in the next couple of weeks assuming we have no major dramas because literally everything is in place except for incredibly minor details and stuff.
*BREATHE*
http://www.astrogaming.com/Now, a message from our friends at Astro Gaming. They are planning to make this whole tournament experience worth your while. So enter the tournament and win sweet gear from Astro Gaming! Why don't you go drool over their amazing, high quality audio systems?
A Message From Your Administrator
Screw QOTSU, Transactionzero is posting something here. It will be at least 250 words and will be edited in using admin gold. And here he is!
An apple and a Kiwi walk into a bar. What happens next you ask? Well first the bartender asks me what I want to drink. To which I reply “I’ll take one of those” and point to the large glass that resembles a fish bowl. The bartender swiftly fills the fish bowl cup and places it in front of me. It’s filled to the brim with a red colored liquid inside of it. The bartender extends his hand looking for payment. Picking up the bar stool matter-of-factly I swiftly bash the bartender over the head. About-facing almost immediately, I stroll out of the bar.
So reflex Lion told me to write some nonsensical ranting for this Site Update article that was around 250 words. Well how did I do folks? Did you see any run-on sentences? How about my grammar? Was everything on par? I for one, hope so, because I took my time writing many a thing. Also don’t let Flex Lion fool you, he’s as much as a troll as our resident Super Staff Troll Stevo.
I love each and every one of you. Every single one of you has the ability to make my day great. From the smallest things to the more complicated things, each of you draws me to ForgeHub. That’s right you….. The community, whether you posts maps, enjoy the offtopic, take part in one of our guilds. You all impact me and I hope I make on impact on you guys. I’d like to thank each and every one of you for visiting Forgehub. I especially thank the current staff and the previous staff for volunteering their time to make everything happen for the community.
-Transactionzero
Thats all folks, have a nice day! Actually wait... here is that Rick Roll I promised. Then I leave, kthxbai
i rick rolled you by not having a rick roll... trololol
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