In my family, Mother's Day is a sacred affair where the various child-bearers in my family celebrate the gift unique to their gender by laboriously cooking a feast to appease the bread-bringers and semi-misogynists. Needless to say, short of my two yearly birthdays that grant me presents, today is one of my favorites.
Black Theorem, however, seems to not appreciate that very much as he nonchalantly contacted me to let me know that my bro, Yoyo, lax in his ways (certainly the result of similar celebration), neglected to post the Update today. Lasagna and popcorn filling my stomach like beer filled the protagonist of the myth-gone-movie I watched today, I shrugged it off. Black pleaded, called me "daddy", and did other dubiously-credible actions to win my favor.
So here I am, writing the site update yet again. And time is fleeting, madness takes its toll. So listen closely, not for very much longer, I've got to keep control.
Harlotry
Nobody was promoted this session, and by nobody, I am, of course, referring to HiddenForger. Just kidding, Hidden, you weren't promoted. Oh wait he was. Hm. That didn't go so well.
DISCLAIMER: When I deride and degrade specific people in an official article, only a fool would figure that for truthful circumstance. For example, Chuck likes inbreeding (his Pokemon). Something about it being efficient and normal for Michiganianianians.
So too was xArctic Hunterx promoted. Why anyone would chase after a climate is beyond me, but let's chalk this one up to nonsense.
Stevo: There was also that Chron guy who got promoted weeks ago and decided to cry about it... unless I force fed him cookies and put his name in here.
I also wanted to mention several people were demoted. Alas, I'm only allowed one direct deign. So here I'm going to reference Peg, under this specific section.
Try to avert thy gaze.
So it took several days to release the results of the last forging contest. Butterfingers!
Was that a reference? Was that an excuse? Are these rhetorical? Am I stalling? Am I doing it better than the other staffers did in trying to get the results out in a timely fashion?
Totally.
However, the second half of the contest (insofar as it no longer being a contest) is drawing to a close start. If that last bit made sense to you, go make some friends or something. Anyway, I'm told that the the 2v2 tourney needed a quip (Black clearly didn't know that translates to "biting criticism" in my book) so I think I covered that already. I'm also told that those responsible for the map picks and what-have-you are nearly done with final testing. To be fair, that is just my summary based on a five-second glance at the secret forum dealing with it, so either I'm telling the truth or the other guys need to race and finish everything lest they look bad.
MY WILL BE DONE.
Ze Germans!
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/6683/reviewhubcrestlarge3.png
Say hello to Paddy.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to be talking about here, suffice to say Review Hub successfully completed another cycle under the steady guidance of yours truly. If you doubt I had anything to do with it (because I have no idea what's going on), I like to work in the shadows, like my nefarious platypus. He also likes mouseovers.
PONG : 7.0 - Oli The G
Halo Wars 2 v2 : 7.5 - Organite & Zenixlio
The True Final Boss : 3.9 - PacMonster1
Barrel Full of Monkeys : 6.4 - PacMonster1 & Rorak Kuroda
Toadz In the Hole : 7.0 - cart0graph & RAWR2010
Killamanjaro 3.0 : 6.6 - Tedium
Turnpike : 7.2 - D0NTSH0OTME
Ironyte : 6.7 - D0NTSH0OTME
Ingress, slave.
So TGIF is coming up again, and as usual, we need hosts. However, the two are unrelated as the program is really for my alien symbiote initiative. The only known survivor, thus far, is CHUCK. You can blame me for his condition, but it has less to do with the experimentation and more to do with his genes. In any case, if you would like my eternal love and affection I can set up a Paypal link for you to send your well-meaning money to me! This job ain't easy after all.
If you're cheap and/or slightly less awesome than a patron of all-things-me, send the following TGIF Host information to Sargeson. Make sure you click the link so you aren't confused.
[HOST'S PARTY NAME]
Host's Gamertag: [HOST'S GAMERTAG]
Start Time: [0:00pm EST]
End Time: [0:00pm EST]
Rules: [PARTY RULES]
Schedule:
[PARTY SCHEDULE]
Also, I'm copying the following information for your edification as a result of your lack of education. It regards attaining a loyal position by hosting TGIF on a committed basis.
Host four consecutive TGIFs (that's back to back for a grand total of four TGIFs spanning eight weeks)
Continue a party spans a minimum of two hours
Submit a recap of their TGIF which consists of:
A two paragraph write up
A minimum of two pictures from their TGIF
At least three download links of the maps they've played
In order to retain their loyal they must continue to host TGIFs every two weeks.
Verily, the Gods favor thee.
It seems we have a competitive match against the various community members coming up, and Peg thought it wise for me to mention it, citing low-appeal and small time on the front page. He's all self-conscious that way.
For those who weren't aware (myself slightly included, as some part of manly minds apparently think about certain "activities" twenty-four/seven, pfft) there will be a community Saturday Night Fight on which the perfectly-reasonable stakes of "colored custom title" shall be bestowed upon the winners. To sign up, go here, sign here, and initial here.
Hm, I guess linking paypal without explicit instructions is both morally dubious and slightly illegal, at best. Damn.
Eejits.
If one is struck down, so should its opposite. That is why. But really, the guys at the tester's guild are not that bad, I just needed a title and BOOP that popped into my head. Anyhow, I already summed up the RH goings-on in a kinda-rational manner. Since the Tester's Guild is essentially the same thing, I'm wondering how many people I offended with the first part of this sentence. Okay, so the TG allows members to submit maps for testing, and get viable feedback in return. If you'd like to be on either end of that relationship, visit the subforum for more information. As I have no time to say much else on the matter, I submit to you a humble poem.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler, filler.
Tsk. Tsk.
On the subject of the mysterious numbered links appearing sporadically under certain articles: I'm not very good at keeping up with insignificant matters. However, I am great at downplaying important ones. That is all.
Hm. FHF voting ends May 18. Stevo hasn't made a thread yet? No idea. But five enter, three win. Or so I'm told. Stevo: Somebody lied to me...
Nominees:
Hollow Crown
Think Twice
Flushing Toilet
Jackal Creek
Hogs from Heck
Oh wait, I forgot to mention someone. Who was it? Hm. OH I GOT IT!
I will be in the loyal list next Site Update :D You better remember to put me in :P
Got ya covered man.
S'k, man. Really, s'okay.
I just hate writing on a full stomach, stuff just starts getting all weird as my sugar-rush flows to my head. But I hope Yoyo is experiencing a food coma as delightful as my earlier one was, or the subsequent one that is causing me to cut short this catastrophic conclusion.
Bye guys, it's been work.
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