Forge Hub vs Paradox Forgers
First, let me explain some changes to your regular SNF re-"pop a"-cap. To begin with, this wasn't an SNF, it was an SNF, which is to say it was on Sunday not Saturday (the madness!). The second change is that I'm doing the write-up, which is unusual because I was never even playing, or there! Think of me like one of those war time writers; not getting involved in all the bloodshed and action, but instead relaxing on my recliner sofa, back at hq, brainstorming a titillating literary passage. Here's how I've recounted the festivities from my cosy corner.
Oh yeah, Forge Hub were playing some guys called Paradox Forgers; they make puzzle maps or something. I hear one of their members is some crazy nut-job called buddhacrane. Let's hope we never have to meet that guy!
Team Awesomesauce
Adelyss - "Defend the flag everyone! What? It's King of the Hill? Then what the hell am I holding?!"
Insane54 - "Hey guys, I got crabs! I...er...I mean the sniper!"
Qrangeremi - "I'm changing my name to Lemonremi because this game is making me bitter!"
TheYavimayan - "Just stick to the plan! The plan is "Don't Die" and you're all failing miserably!"
Paradox Forgers
ActualGlory
GoSu aka LeGiT
mander A1
VolcanoEcigs
Game 1: Snords on Aerocrest
The first game started up, which came as a great surprise to everyone, no one saw it coming! After both sides gathered their wits, they headed into battle; the gametype was Snords and the map was Aerocrest - Forge Hub's choice for the first game.
The match started off pretty good, or pretty bad depending on which team's perspective you were looking at; I was busy staring at a rock so I suppose I considered the game fairly ordinary at that point. Things were going well for ForgeHub to begin with, although to be fair that was predominantly due to the misconception from the Paradox Forgers that the gametype was Swords and not Snords! Once they realised they had a secondary weapon, in the form of long range head-shotting beast we call the sniper rifle, they mopped up Team Awesome with a dastardly display of dextrous destruction...damn! The problem was that, no matter how hard Team Awesome tried, they couldn't prevent the Paradox Forgers from grabbing both the Sword and the Sniper every time!
It was a recipe for failure, with a cooking time of 4 mins and 52 seconds.
Final Score:
Team Awesomesauce: 32
Paradox Forgers: 50
"Oh Hai! Big Mac and Fries pl0x!"
Game 2: Shootin' Hoops on Pro 'Sketball
Things hadn't started well for Team Awesome aka Forge Hub. Unfortunately for them, it wasn't about to get any easier because next it was the Paradox Forgers' turn and they chose a map that hasn't even been released yet, which only they had actually played, and was co-forged by one of the guys on their team (and some sexy guy by the name of buddhacrane). So, naturally, it seemed a pretty fair match up, right?
Mander A1 (the co-forger) offered to explain the game to Team Awesome, but Team Awesome are awesome and do not needed to actually "know stuff"; instead they relied on their natural essence of skill and, well, awesomeness to play!
Surprisingly, despite everything being in Team Awesome's favour, they lost 9-1. Oh, and I believe that "1" was the Paradox Forgers just allowing Team Awesome to know what it feels like to score, you know, like when your older sister offers to make out with you just so you know what it's like...oh that's just me? Crap...
Final Score:
Team Awesomesauce: 1
Paradox Forgers: 9
This is what that scene from "Alien" would have looked like if the Xenomorph were a 12 gauge shotgun!
Game 3: MLG Team Slayer on Ignite
"Onto the final game!" cried Team Awesome.
After Team Awesome stopped weeping uncontrollably, they started up the last match - some ultra competitive MLG that tested real skill, not silly games with only two weapons in them, and even sillier games that forced 7ft tall behemoths to jump around like schoolgirls, throwing dangerous explosives into baskets. No, this was Team Awesome's time to shine!
The only problem with Team Awesome's cunning plan was that the Paradox Forgers had three Generals on their team (VolcanoEcigs's primary account is a General). This meant that the Paradox Forgers were quite familiar with the workings of MLG themselves, too familiar in fact!
Forge Hub kept it steady in the beginning, never more than a point or two behind, and Adelyss kept positive throughout the match, shouting encouraging words of advice like "Stop sucking so much!" and "If you die one more time I'll kill you!". Alas, despite continued stimulating vocalizations from Adelyss, Forge Hub couldn't retain the momentum and were eventually defeated, left lifeless and laying in pools of their own blood - yup, Adelyss had found out where his team mates lived and murdered them all! Now you know why I've had to do this write-up.
Final Score:
Team Awesomesauce: 43
Paradox Forgers: 50
"Even when Neo made a surprise guest appearance for Forge Hub we still lost!"
It's The Final Countdown Score:
Team Awesomesauce: 0
Paradox Forgers: 3
That concludes another SNF instalment, those Paradox Forgers guys will think twice before messing with Forge Hub again that's for sure!
>.>
<.<
But yeah them folks over at Paradox Forums are pretty cool guys; I should know, I'm one of them! In fact, after that performance, I'm denouncing myself as a member of Forge Hub and pledging my allegiance to Paradox Forgers! Ah, the advantages of being a double agent...think about it, if James Bond were a double agent he'd have had twice as many women vying for his attention!
So what have we learned from all this? Well we now know what Forge Hub, a freshly wallpapered room, and that text that used to be in your clipboard all have in common! That's right, they've all recently received a pasting! Good day!
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